More Life Coming Up, After the Break(down)

 Lineup subject to change
when the bullet hits my bone.
After download is complete,
bundle my flesh on a funeral pyre
surrounded by every piece of obsolete hardware
that carries my fingerprints, my DNA,
and witness my glorious combustion.

Shannon Kernaghan Bait-twit-300x150 Home

My Relation to Jaws

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” That’s one of my favorite lines from the blockbuster movie Jaws. I’ve borrowed these words several times throughout my

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Shannon Kernaghan Captain-Sandy-porthole-portrait-400-300x285 Home

WAY Below Deck

Captain Sandy Yawn is anything but a yawn – she’s a warrior! She’s also the captain of huge yachts that sail the seas of Croatia

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Shannon Kernaghan Social-Distance-Please-400-300x194 Home

Risky Behavior

The expression of the day is “risky behavior” compliments of Covid-19 warnings on how to avoid transmission: don’t congregate, don’t shake hands and don’t expect

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Shannon Kernaghan Tampon-Box-cover-400-300x300 Home

Did You Say Tampons?

“Want me to buy more tampons?” I called out, standing at the door and ready to walk to Rexall for coffee cream. In this age

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Shannon Kernaghan octo-drawing-400-300x222 Home

Stay Young, Cinderella

For women, finding romance after 40 is like searching for a restaurant with perfect lighting – too much is glaring, just enough is mood and too little

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Shannon Kernaghan Goldi-Locks-Gets-Lip-Locked-400-300x300 Home

Goldilocks Gets Lip Locked

My friend said that her 15-year-old nephew is experiencing major exam tension. “Gawd, I’d hate to be 15 again!” she added. “Really? I’d love to

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Shannon Kernaghan Happiness-is-an-A-300x300 Home

Happiness is an ‘A’

I’m someone who strives for high scores and enjoys any that come my way. For example, I like getting an A on tests, even if I’m taking a class for my own

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Shannon Kernaghan bat-and-coffin-400-300x290 Home

On Remembering You

Call me weird, but sometimes I check the obituaries of cities where I’ve lived. I don’t have a morbid obsession with death. On the contrary,

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Shannon Kernaghan Look-Out-for-the-Rats-400-300x300 Home

Look Out For the Rats

I discovered a few rats downtown, and last weekend I brought three of them home with me. They’re not real rats (or married people who pocket their wedding

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Shannon Kernaghan Hands-off-my-pooch-400-300x300 Home

Hands Off The Pooch!

My husband has begun an annoying habit while we relax in bed: he plays with my stomach as if it’s bread dough. “Stop it!” I

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Shannon Kernaghan cave-club-drawing-450-300x252 Home

Cave Comedians Rock!

My husband and I watched an old episode of “Seinfeld,” one with comedy highlights from the many years the series ran. “This is hilarious stuff.

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