More Life Coming Up, After the Break(down)

Piper Jolly
A young girl with Tourette Syndrome
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Shannon Kernaghan
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Thank You

 Lineup subject to change
when the bullet hits my bone.
After download is complete,
bundle my flesh on a funeral pyre
surrounded by every piece of obsolete hardware
that carries my fingerprints, my DNA,
and witness my glorious combustion.

Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home
My GPS has PMS

  I need more direction in life. I’m not talking about spiritual, relationship or career guidance but actual direction, as in navigating from point A to B. My problem is I lack a sense of direction many are born with and take for

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Stop Confusing Your Pumpkins

  I can’t understand the rationale behind applying special Halloween make-up and then dunking your head in a tub of communal water, all for the prize of grabbing an apple. I need more incentive. When I

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Copy That, Crispy Chicken Lady

  Once upon a dance floor I partied late into the night, and I garnered the occasional nickname. Sometimes I was called Peaches, and for a brief period I was Sweet Thing or Honey Bunny. One guy called me Foxy Lady,

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Catch the Wave!

  I like ladybugs as much as the next person. Finding one inside your home is said to be a sign of good luck. But I like a few of them, not a virtual infestation. Last

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home
Super Bug? Meet Super Traveler

  When I started traveling in my teens, half of my luggage contained beauty products – bulky hot rollers, make-up by the bucket and a spectrum of nail polishes. My suitcase needed layers of duct tape

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home
Can You Hear Me Now?

  Listening is an under-rated art form. There’s a wise saying that people should listen twice as much as they talk, considering they have two ears for every mouth. When I read the report that men

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home
A Simple Life? Good Luck with That!

  I choose a simple, uncomplicated life. The proof is in my medicine cabinet. That is, you won’t find much in the way of treasure. But you will find a bottle of skin lotion. Whether or not the promise of fewer wrinkles

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When Wooden Vultures Rule

  Summer is a time to enjoy Farmer’s Markets, water sports and local festivals. It’s also a chance to celebrate an activity synonymous with fun – setting up your lawn ornaments. While walking past a yard recently, I stopped and stared at wooden tulips, Little

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Cracked Bottoms & Missing Heads

  You’ve heard this before: one person’s junk is another’s treasure. I’d hoped to find some serious pickings when Paul and I traveled to an advertised swap meet. I thought swap meet equated garage sale or

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Birthday-cake-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bear-Ghylles-400-1 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-at-the-slots-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bikin-babe-pool-side-800-e1499891769101 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-and-the-jar Home    Shannon Kernaghan Borscht-for-Post-400 Home
Slow Down & Smell the Borscht

  My friend  gave me a book entitled In Praise of Slow by Carl Honoré. The author investigates the phenomenon of slow living – slow food, cooking, traveling, napping and sex. Honoré writes that going slow is

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Stop Cluttering My Mind

  There’s a lot of chatter about clutter. The subject is explored on talk shows and dissected in “how-to avoid it” articles. When I spent the day helping a friend unpack at her new home, she told me she needs to

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Bear Facts on Bikinis

  Some believe that life imitates art. For me, life imitates news. I read a piece on the myriad of distractions that drivers face on today’s roads. Any number of activities, both inside the vehicle and out,

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Don’t Sniff It on Father’s Day

  My father’s primary loves were his family, his pets and his television store, in varying order. No doubt that love toggled, depending on which source offered the most pleasure, the least annoyance. Although I was

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Push-Up Bra under a Spruce Goose

Missions. We all have them. Some of us are driven to distraction by them. Howard Hughes is a perfect example of a man with missions. When you inherit your father’s tool company and become a millionaire at age

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Hula Girl Chucks Her Chastity

  I’m in the mood for another stagette. At my last, the highlight prop of the eve was a metal chastity belt for the betrothed. This locking chain device was straight from a tickle trunk of the Spanish Inquisition. The belt

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Birthday-cake-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bear-Ghylles-400-1 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-at-the-slots-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bikin-babe-pool-side-800-e1499891769101 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-and-the-jar Home    Shannon Kernaghan Borscht-for-Post-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Clutter-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bare-Facts-on-Bikinis-8-e1497811785676 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Fathers-Day-scent-2017 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Goldfinger-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-flying-with-Howard Home    Shannon Kernaghan wed-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Grammar-Slammer-400 Home
Beware the Grammar Slammer

  Here’s a frightening thought – grammar is a window into your soul. It’s not what you say as much as how you say it. And it’s not only what you utter, but what you type into your computer. Yikes!

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My Beer is Child-Lite

I don’t want children. My decision is not for physical or political reasons, or because I had a rotten childhood. It’s simply a personal decision. I refer to myself as child-free. If I call myself child-less,

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Mother’s Day Guns & Ammo

With Mother’s Day this Sunday, all of you children – and you know who you are – should honor your mothers. If you don’t want to praise her with fancy dinners or gifts of perfume and

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Birthday-cake-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bear-Ghylles-400-1 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-at-the-slots-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bikin-babe-pool-side-800-e1499891769101 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-and-the-jar Home    Shannon Kernaghan Borscht-for-Post-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Clutter-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bare-Facts-on-Bikinis-8-e1497811785676 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Fathers-Day-scent-2017 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Goldfinger-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-flying-with-Howard Home    Shannon Kernaghan wed-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Grammar-Slammer-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Spy-on-Girl-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Moms-gun-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Caved-In-4 Home
Caved In

  “He’s not waking, should we get him to Emerg?” a nurse asked. “No, he hasn’t seized,” said another. “Give him a minute.” Emerg? Seized? I tasted my morning coffee, now bitter. He suddenly opened his

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Birthday-cake-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bear-Ghylles-400-1 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-at-the-slots-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bikin-babe-pool-side-800-e1499891769101 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-and-the-jar Home    Shannon Kernaghan Borscht-for-Post-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Clutter-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bare-Facts-on-Bikinis-8-e1497811785676 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Fathers-Day-scent-2017 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Goldfinger-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-flying-with-Howard Home    Shannon Kernaghan wed-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Grammar-Slammer-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Spy-on-Girl-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Moms-gun-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Caved-In-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Humphrey-400 Home
Real Dogs

I like to attend an occasional Kennel Club show, not because I prefer purebreds but because I marvel at how people fuss over their canines. At a previous show, Paul and I spoke with a woman

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Hear Me Flush

There are days when I crave a simple life, one that features a scenic stroll or laughing with my favorite people over wine and food. Since I’m not a paragliding, jet skiing, bungee jumping thrill seeker,

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Octopus Boy Rocks

  The announcer referred to the winner as an American hero. “The game is immaculate,” he said. “It’s the game of the people, and it’s the only game people are equipped to play from birth.” The

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Feng Shui, Meet My Dragon

Feng shui = wind + water. Feng shui = the Chinese art or practice of positioning objects, especially buildings and furniture, based on a belief in patterns of yin and yang and the flow of chi that

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Birthday-cake-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bear-Ghylles-400-1 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-at-the-slots-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bikin-babe-pool-side-800-e1499891769101 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-and-the-jar Home    Shannon Kernaghan Borscht-for-Post-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Clutter-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bare-Facts-on-Bikinis-8-e1497811785676 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Fathers-Day-scent-2017 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Goldfinger-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-flying-with-Howard Home    Shannon Kernaghan wed-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Grammar-Slammer-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Spy-on-Girl-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Moms-gun-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Caved-In-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Humphrey-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Hear-me-Flush Home    Shannon Kernaghan Octopus-timing Home    Shannon Kernaghan Feng-Shui-e1493591897179 Home    Shannon Kernaghan wine-display-784x1024 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Hardening-of-the-Articles_image Home
Hardening of the Articles

The English language gets pretty much taken for granted until I hear the word “sativate” used twice within thirty seconds. “When he walked through the chocolate factory he sativated. The smell of all that chocolate had

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Birthday-cake-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bear-Ghylles-400-1 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-at-the-slots-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bikin-babe-pool-side-800-e1499891769101 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-and-the-jar Home    Shannon Kernaghan Borscht-for-Post-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Clutter-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bare-Facts-on-Bikinis-8-e1497811785676 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Fathers-Day-scent-2017 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Goldfinger-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-flying-with-Howard Home    Shannon Kernaghan wed-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Grammar-Slammer-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Spy-on-Girl-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Moms-gun-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Caved-In-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Humphrey-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Hear-me-Flush Home    Shannon Kernaghan Octopus-timing Home    Shannon Kernaghan Feng-Shui-e1493591897179 Home    Shannon Kernaghan wine-display-784x1024 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Hardening-of-the-Articles_image Home    Shannon Kernaghan bare-butt-cook-e1493311398574 Home
Great Escape, Skimpy Dress Code 

A few years ago I read how a chimpanzee named Judy escaped from her cage at the Little Rock Zoo in Arkansas. She had her chance when a keeper left the door of her sleeping quarters open. Judy’s flight to freedom wasn’t

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Shannon Kernaghan Stoopid-ass-GPS-600 Home    Shannon Kernaghan halloween_17-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan skull-e1507756491922 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-truck-driver-sep23-e1506294202863 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Surf-bug400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan blog-travelling-suitcase2-1024x885 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Honey-Dew-list-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Simple-Life-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Birthday-cake-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bear-Ghylles-400-1 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-at-the-slots-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bikin-babe-pool-side-800-e1499891769101 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-and-the-jar Home    Shannon Kernaghan Borscht-for-Post-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Clutter-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Bare-Facts-on-Bikinis-8-e1497811785676 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Fathers-Day-scent-2017 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Goldfinger-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Shannon-flying-with-Howard Home    Shannon Kernaghan wed-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Grammar-Slammer-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Spy-on-Girl-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Moms-gun-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Caved-In-4 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Humphrey-400 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Hear-me-Flush Home    Shannon Kernaghan Octopus-timing Home    Shannon Kernaghan Feng-Shui-e1493591897179 Home    Shannon Kernaghan wine-display-784x1024 Home    Shannon Kernaghan Hardening-of-the-Articles_image Home    Shannon Kernaghan bare-butt-cook-e1493311398574 Home    Shannon Kernaghan rusty-chickens-400 Home
Good Vibrations

After the shopping is finished, Paul steers our car in the direction of home. My stomach grumbles. Hungry?” Paul asks. “Where do you want to eat? “I don’t care, you?” This is the ping pong we

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