Shooters + Xmas = Regrets

They say that a ‘smart’ Christmas party shouldn’t include liquor or dancing – they being the people you’d never party with, and any of those statisticians with the name Ebenezer.  

About two-thirds of Albertans polled said they like or love Xmas office parties, making them the happiest partygoers in Canada. This isn’t a huge Wild Rose claim to fame, but it’s great to know Albertans are an enthusiastic bunch.  

Good thing I’m happy about something, because I’m not always thrilled with my own office party etiquette, especially those bashes where competent serving personnel keep refilling my wine glass.  
I’ve attended many festive gatherings, sometimes as the guest of my husband. At his workplace events, I avoid liquor and tap the key marked ”best behavior.”  

But I’ve had a few regrettable moments, which always include talking too loudly and moments of bad dancing-on-demand.  

 I blame my mother because she’s always been a joiner. If she’s watching an entertainer who invites the audience to clap or sing or spin in circles, she’s in there like tinsel on a Scotch pine. Hokey Pokey anyone? My mom valiantly puts her right foot in and her right foot out. With gusto. Don’t get me started on the Cuban conga line – she’ll be leading it! 

That’s why I’m making an early – or super late – New Year’s resolution. I resolve to attend future Christmas parties where I don’t dance and where I say little. 

I won’t repeat last year’s event, where I made too much eye contact with the comedian hired to entertain us. Eye contact forced me into audience participation (thanks Mom). 

With participation, it’s easy to let my internal monologue slop over (thanks last Rumple Minze shooter – it tastes like a candy cane). The danger sign is when co-workers laugh harder at something I’ve blurted out than the comedian’s joke. 

Will I remember my resolution after the first festive eggnog? Probably not. 

 Then again, I might not get any future office party invites. Not after the song I sang on the way out, a drunken version of “Let it Snow” I read in a Christmas card:  

Well conditions at work are frightful,  
and the boss is not delightful, 
and someday we’ll all be let go,  this job blows,
this job blows, this job blows! 

If offers pour in, I plan to keep my lips sealed . . . at least until the comedian arrives.  

Happy Holidays, y’all! 

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