‘Smoke Genie’ Grants Two Wishes
It’s the late 1990s and I’m seated in a restaurant with two people. Before we’ve even
October 17, 2018 2 Comments
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A Simple Life? Good Luck with That!
I choose a simple, uncomplicated life. The proof is in my medicine cabinet. That is, you won’t find much in the
August 11, 2017 1 Comment
A Wooden Leg Does Not a Pirate Make
In 1978 President Jimmy Carter proclaimed the first Sunday in September after Labor Day as National
September 5, 2018 7 Comments
Bah Humbug
Coronavirus isn’t the only Grinch to steal Christmas. My brother Timothy, three years older, decided to
December 8, 2020 4 Comments
Bear Facts on Bikinis
Some believe that life imitates art. For me, life imitates news. I read a piece on the
June 19, 2017 No Comments
Beware the Grammar Slammer
Here’s a frightening thought – grammar is a window into your soul. It’s not what you say as much
May 19, 2017 No Comments
Can You Hear Me Now?
Listening is an under-rated art form. There’s a wise saying that people should listen twice as
August 24, 2017 1 Comment
Catch the Wave!
I like ladybugs as much as the next person. Finding one inside your home is said
September 14, 2017 No Comments
Cave Comedians Rock!
My husband and I watched an old episode of “Seinfeld,” one with comedy highlights from the
March 4, 2019 4 Comments
Caved In
“He’s not waking, should we get him to Emerg?” a nurse asked. “No, he hasn’t seized,”
May 6, 2017 No Comments
Confessions of a List-oholic
I envy my husband. He lives a list-free existence. Paul never makes a to-do list and
June 24, 2018 No Comments
Copy That, Crispy Chicken Lady
Once upon a dance floor I partied late into the night, and I garnered the occasional nickname.
September 24, 2017 4 Comments
Cracked Bottoms & Missing Heads
You’ve heard this before: one person’s junk is another’s treasure. I’d hoped to find some serious
July 8, 2017 No Comments
Dad Wins ‘Best in Show’
It’s that time again, the third Sunday in June when we tip our ball caps to
May 22, 2018 4 Comments
Dating? Learn How to Use Chopsticks
Why can’t dating come with instructions? By instructions, I don’t mean a how-to book. There are enough texts
July 28, 2019 2 Comments
Did You Say Tampons?
“Want me to buy more tampons?” I called out, standing at the door and ready to
March 30, 2020 4 Comments
Don’t Sniff It on Father’s Day
My father’s primary loves were his family, his pets and his television store, in varying order.
June 15, 2017 No Comments
Faux Families in Your Neighborhood
You have to admire a city that makes a living out of creating fantasy. I’m referring
May 5, 2019 2 Comments
Feng Shui, Meet My Dragon
Feng shui = wind + water. Feng shui = the Chinese art or practice of positioning objects,
April 30, 2017 No Comments
For Marshmallows, White or Red Wine?
You know your partner has a long road to travel in the field of personal development
April 30, 2017 2 Comments
Goldilocks Gets Lip Locked
My friend said that her 15-year-old nephew is experiencing major exam tension. “Gawd, I’d hate to
February 2, 2020 2 Comments
Good Intentions, Bad Gifts
What’s the worst gift you ever received? Is it hard for everyone to open a bad
December 4, 2017 1 Comment
Good Vibrations
After the shopping is finished, Paul steers our car in the direction of home. My stomach
April 25, 2017 1 Comment
Gotta Have Sole
I associate myself with Vogue magazine like I associate myself with Albert Einstein. If Vogue and
February 1, 2021 No Comments
Great Escape, Skimpy Dress Code
A few years ago I read how a chimpanzee named Judy escaped from her cage at
April 26, 2017 2 Comments
Hands Off The Pooch!
My husband has begun an annoying habit while we relax in bed: he plays with my
June 2, 2019 No Comments
Happiness is an ‘A’
I’m someone who strives for high scores and enjoys any that come my way. For example, I like getting an A on tests,
September 24, 2019 2 Comments
Hardening of the Articles
The English language gets pretty much taken for granted until I hear the word “sativate” used
April 30, 2017 No Comments
Hear Me Flush
There are days when I crave a simple life, one that features a scenic stroll or
May 1, 2017 No Comments
High Sticking with Goldfinger
In my early twenties I accepted a date with a man I met in a night
June 10, 2017 No Comments
Hollywood, Here I DON’T Come!
I know why I’m not a Hollywood celebrity – I don’t have “star drive,” that necessary
August 12, 2018 2 Comments
Hormones & Horoscopes Don’t Control Me
I enjoy the wisdom that fortune cookies hold. You can’t drag me away from my restaurant chair until I’ve
January 18, 2019 2 Comments
Hula Girl Chucks Her Chastity Belt
I’m in the mood for another stagette. At my last, the highlight prop of the eve
May 26, 2017 No Comments
I Need a Dentist, Not a Survey
I never forward chain letters or dire warnings that turn out to be hoaxes. But when
February 1, 2019 4 Comments
I’m Sorry, I’m Canadian
Canadians must be a sorry lot because they’re always saying they’re sorry. When I bumped into
December 26, 2018 2 Comments
I’m Not a Patient Patient
I admire my current doctor and her no-nonsense approach to my body when I haul it
April 2, 2018 No Comments
Look Out For the Rats
I discovered a few rats downtown, and last weekend I brought three of them home with me. They’re
July 1, 2019 2 Comments
Luggage Matters
While touring Italy with my sister and a busload of keen tourists one spring, I noticed how
February 16, 2019 4 Comments
Married to Bear Grylls? Build Up Your Muscles
The British adventurer from Running Wild with Bear Grylls has some nifty one-liners: “Life is an
July 29, 2017 No Comments
Milk-Bone in Your Pocket
Since I welcome any opportunity to tease my partner, Valentine’s Day provides yet another opportunity. I’ll be
February 10, 2019 8 Comments
Mother’s Day Guns & Ammo
With Mother’s Day this Sunday, all of you children – and you know who you are
May 12, 2017 2 Comments
My Beer is Child-Lite
I don’t want children. My decision is not for physical or political reasons, or because I
May 14, 2017 No Comments
My Bikini Drove Me to the Gym
I finally did it – I joined a gym. Years had passed since my last exercise
July 15, 2017 1 Comment
My GPS has PMS
I need more direction in life. I’m not talking about spiritual, relationship or career guidance but actual direction,
November 12, 2017 No Comments
My Resolution? Avoid Clichés Like the Plague
It’s now or never. There’s no better time than the present to make a New Year’s
December 26, 2017 No Comments
Octopus Boy Rocks
The announcer referred to the winner as an American hero. “The game is immaculate,” he said.
April 30, 2017 No Comments
On Remembering You
Call me weird, but sometimes I check the obituaries of cities where I’ve lived. I don’t
August 22, 2019 4 Comments
Power to the Mixer, Right On
I’m not a flower child of the 1960s, but I’ve met enough aging free spirits to
March 29, 2019 2 Comments
Push-Up Bra under a Spruce Goose
Missions. We all have them. Some of us are driven to distraction by them. Howard Hughes
June 2, 2017 2 Comments
Real Dogs
I like to attend an occasional Kennel Club show, not because I prefer purebreds but because
May 2, 2017 No Comments
Slow Down & Smell the Borscht
My friend gave me a book entitled In Praise of Slow by Carl Honoré. The author
June 30, 2017 No Comments
Stay Young, Cinderella
For women, finding romance after 40 is like searching for a restaurant with perfect lighting – too much
March 2, 2020 No Comments
Stop Cluttering My Mind
There’s a lot of chatter about clutter. The subject is explored on talk shows and dissected in “how-to avoid
June 23, 2017 No Comments
Stop Confusing Your Pumpkins
I can’t understand the rationale behind applying special Halloween make-up and then dunking your head in
October 24, 2017 No Comments
Super Bug? Meet Super Traveler
When I started traveling in my teens, half of my luggage contained beauty products – bulky
September 3, 2017 1 Comment
The Toilet That “FLUSHED” Our Deal!
One of the most eye-opening business ventures I ever took was to sell real estate. I
June 16, 2020 4 Comments
This Valentine’s Day, Oh Poo!
If you trace the origins of Valentine’s Day, you won’t find a pretty picture. One legend
January 26, 2018 No Comments
Turkey Buzzard Trumps Light Sleeper
I’m a big liar. Not true, I’m a liar of medium build. As recently as yesterday
February 28, 2018 No Comments
WAY Below Deck
Captain Sandy Yawn is anything but a yawn – she’s a warrior! She’s also the captain
June 7, 2020 2 Comments
When Wooden Vultures Rule
Summer is a time to enjoy Farmer’s Markets, water sports and local festivals. It’s also a chance to
August 5, 2017 No Comments
Winning Loser? Avoid Las Vegas
I suffer from an anatomical shortfall: I was born without the lucky bone. Like the inert
July 22, 2017 1 Comment
Wrecked & Reimagined
I was recently inspired by on Ohio artist I discovered online. Dave collects thrift shop paintings
December 20, 2020 2 Comments
You Call This Retail Therapy?
I enjoy a good sale. The best experience is one that melds impulsiveness with rock-bottom prices. Last
November 24, 2019 No Comments
You Throw Salt, I’ll Knock on Wood
Friday the 13th is one unlucky day for women. A study in the American Journal of
October 11, 2017 No Comments
Your Resting Bitch Face Scares Me!
Can’t we all just get along? No. At least not at work. An online poll of
November 13, 2018 2 Comments
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