Look Out For the Rats
I discovered a few rats downtown, and last weekend I brought three of them home with me. They’re not real rats (or married people who
July 1, 2019 2 Comments
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Hands Off The Pooch!
My husband has begun an annoying habit while we relax in bed: he plays with my stomach as if it’s bread dough.
June 2, 2019 No Comments
Milk-Bone in Your Pocket
Since I welcome any opportunity to tease my partner, Valentine’s Day provides yet another opportunity. I’ll be gentle. I’ve been with the guy
February 10, 2019 8 Comments
I Need a Dentist, Not a Survey
I never forward chain letters or dire warnings that turn out to be hoaxes. But when a friend from Ottawa sent me
February 1, 2019 4 Comments
Hormones & Horoscopes Don’t Control Me
I enjoy the wisdom that fortune cookies hold. You can’t drag me away from my restaurant chair until I’ve read mine and everyone else’s. No
January 18, 2019 2 Comments
I’m Sorry, I’m Canadian
Canadians must be a sorry lot because they’re always saying they’re sorry. When I bumped into a woman at the grocery store,
December 26, 2018 2 Comments
Your Resting Bitch Face Scares Me!
Can’t we all just get along? No. At least not at work. An online poll of 2,000 adults revealed that 22% despise their
November 13, 2018 2 Comments
‘Smoke Genie’ Grants Two Wishes
It’s the late 1990s and I’m seated in a restaurant with two people. Before we’ve even ordered our meal, one says to
October 17, 2018 2 Comments
A Wooden Leg Does Not a Pirate Make
In 1978 President Jimmy Carter proclaimed the first Sunday in September after Labor Day as National Grandparents’ Day. The idea originated from
September 5, 2018 7 Comments
Hollywood, Here I DON’T Come!
I know why I’m not a Hollywood celebrity – I don’t have “star drive,” that necessary trait for a person to succeed
August 12, 2018 2 Comments
Confessions of a List-oholic
I envy my husband. He lives a list-free existence. Paul never makes a to-do list and has no plans to start. Me?
June 24, 2018 No Comments
Dad Wins ‘Best in Show’
It’s that time again, the third Sunday in June when we tip our ball caps to the good fathers in our lives.
May 22, 2018 4 Comments
I’m Not a Patient Patient
I admire my current doctor and her no-nonsense approach to my body when I haul it into her clinic for my annual
April 2, 2018 No Comments
Turkey Buzzard Trumps Light Sleeper
I’m a big liar. Not true, I’m a liar of medium build. As recently as yesterday I told my neighbor a mistruth:
February 28, 2018 No Comments
This Valentine’s Day, Oh Poo!
If you trace the origins of Valentine’s Day, you won’t find a pretty picture. One legend claims that a Roman priest named
January 26, 2018 No Comments
My Resolution? Avoid Clichés Like the Plague
It’s now or never. There’s no better time than the present to make a New Year’s resolution. This will take nerves of
December 26, 2017 No Comments
Good Intentions, Bad Gifts
What’s the worst gift you ever received? Is it hard for everyone to open a bad Christmas gift and pretend to be
December 4, 2017 1 Comment
My GPS has PMS
I need more direction in life. I’m not talking about spiritual, relationship or career guidance but actual direction, as in navigating from point A to
November 12, 2017 No Comments
Stop Confusing Your Pumpkins
I can’t understand the rationale behind applying special Halloween make-up and then dunking your head in a tub of communal water, all
October 24, 2017 No Comments
You Throw Salt, I’ll Knock on Wood
Friday the 13th is one unlucky day for women. A study in the American Journal of Psychiatry revealed that women have a
October 11, 2017 No Comments
Copy That, Crispy Chicken Lady
Once upon a dance floor I partied late into the night, and I garnered the occasional nickname. Sometimes I was called Peaches, and
September 24, 2017 4 Comments
Catch the Wave!
I like ladybugs as much as the next person. Finding one inside your home is said to be a sign of good
September 14, 2017 No Comments
Super Bug? Meet Super Traveler
When I started traveling in my teens, half of my luggage contained beauty products – bulky hot rollers, make-up by the bucket
September 3, 2017 1 Comment
Can You Hear Me Now?
Listening is an under-rated art form. There’s a wise saying that people should listen twice as much as they talk, considering they
August 24, 2017 1 Comment
A Simple Life? Good Luck with That!
I choose a simple, uncomplicated life. The proof is in my medicine cabinet. That is, you won’t find much in the way of treasure. But you will find
August 11, 2017 1 Comment
When Wooden Vultures Rule
Summer is a time to enjoy Farmer’s Markets, water sports and local festivals. It’s also a chance to celebrate an activity synonymous with fun – setting up your
August 5, 2017 No Comments
Married to Bear Grylls? Build Up Your Muscles
The British adventurer from Running Wild with Bear Grylls has some nifty one-liners: “Life is an adventure – live it” and “If
July 29, 2017 No Comments
Winning Loser? Avoid Las Vegas
I suffer from an anatomical shortfall: I was born without the lucky bone. Like the inert patient in the game Operation, I’m
July 22, 2017 1 Comment
My Bikini Drove Me to the Gym
I finally did it – I joined a gym. Years had passed since my last exercise regime, so it was time to
July 15, 2017 1 Comment
Cracked Bottoms & Missing Heads
You’ve heard this before: one person’s junk is another’s treasure. I’d hoped to find some serious pickings when Paul and I traveled
July 8, 2017 No Comments
Slow Down & Smell the Borscht
My friend gave me a book entitled In Praise of Slow by Carl Honoré. The author investigates the phenomenon of slow living
June 30, 2017 No Comments
Stop Cluttering My Mind
There’s a lot of chatter about clutter. The subject is explored on talk shows and dissected in “how-to avoid it” articles. When I spent the day
June 23, 2017 No Comments
Bear Facts on Bikinis
Some believe that life imitates art. For me, life imitates news. I read a piece on the myriad of distractions that drivers face
June 19, 2017 No Comments
Don’t Sniff It on Father’s Day
My father’s primary loves were his family, his pets and his television store, in varying order. No doubt that love toggled, depending
June 15, 2017 No Comments
High Sticking with Goldfinger
In my early twenties I accepted a date with a man I met in a night club. He owned a major business
June 10, 2017 No Comments
Push-Up Bra under a Spruce Goose
Missions. We all have them. Some of us are driven to distraction by them. Howard Hughes is a perfect example of a man
June 2, 2017 2 Comments
Hula Girl Chucks Her Chastity Belt
I’m in the mood for another stagette. At my last, the highlight prop of the eve was a metal chastity belt for the betrothed. This
May 26, 2017 No Comments
Beware the Grammar Slammer
Here’s a frightening thought – grammar is a window into your soul. It’s not what you say as much as how you say it. And it’s
May 19, 2017 No Comments
My Beer is Child-Lite
I don’t want children. My decision is not for physical or political reasons, or because I had a rotten childhood. It’s simply
May 14, 2017 No Comments
Mother’s Day Guns & Ammo
With Mother’s Day this Sunday, all of you children – and you know who you are – should honor your mothers. If
May 12, 2017 2 Comments
Caved In
“He’s not waking, should we get him to Emerg?” a nurse asked. “No, he hasn’t seized,” said another. “Give him a minute.”
May 6, 2017 No Comments
Real Dogs
I like to attend an occasional Kennel Club show, not because I prefer purebreds but because I marvel at how people fuss
May 2, 2017 No Comments
Hear Me Flush
There are days when I crave a simple life, one that features a scenic stroll or laughing with my favorite people over
May 1, 2017 No Comments
Octopus Boy Rocks
The announcer referred to the winner as an American hero. “The game is immaculate,” he said. “It’s the game of the people,
April 30, 2017 No Comments
Feng Shui, Meet My Dragon
Feng shui = wind + water. Feng shui = the Chinese art or practice of positioning objects, especially buildings and furniture, based on
April 30, 2017 No Comments
For Marshmallows, White or Red Wine?
You know your partner has a long road to travel in the field of personal development when you hear, “What kind of
April 30, 2017 2 Comments
Hardening of the Articles
The English language gets pretty much taken for granted until I hear the word “sativate” used twice within thirty seconds. “When he
April 30, 2017 No Comments
Great Escape, Skimpy Dress Code
A few years ago I read how a chimpanzee named Judy escaped from her cage at the Little Rock Zoo in Arkansas.
April 26, 2017 2 Comments
Good Vibrations
After the shopping is finished, Paul steers our car in the direction of home. My stomach grumbles. Hungry?” Paul asks. “Where do
April 25, 2017 1 Comment
